The Return of Mandy
The title says “Return,” but don’t worry, you haven’t missed anything. My relationship with Mandy predates this blog. For you, it’s all new. For me, it’s old history I’d rather forget. I won’t get into the details, but suffice it to say, Mandy used to be my girlfriend, five years ago. That is, until the faerie entered my life and jinxed her. The pre-faerie Mandy was witty, educated, very social and curious about the world. The post-faerie Mandy, well… she’s a sexual predator. And she’s packing all the right equipment for the job, too. She’s cunning, malicious, very hot, and going to bed with her is like crack — instant addiction.
It took me about a year to kick off the habit. The other six guys (and two girls) she was dating weren’t so lucky. (I think two of them are homeless, now.)
Last night, she called me, sounding all sweet, swearing she’d changed, turned herself and her life around and all that jazz. She said she hadn’t slept with anyone in six weeks (which, in new-Mandy-years, is like three years for the rest of us), wasn’t seeing anyone anymore, and wanted to get together with me “just to catch up.” She promised she wouldn’t touch me, she just wanted to see me. You’re probably thinking, “C’mon, Jaycee, what could it hurt? Maybe it’s true… Just one tiny meeting can’t hurt, right?” Wrong. That’s what alcoholics say about that “one small drink” before going into relapse.
All Mandy needs is one tiny touch, and I’m back into that self-destructive spiral. To you, her plea may sound plausible. To me, it’s just Tactic #17 — she’s used that line before.
But dammit, the line worked. I don’t know why I said yes, but I did, and we have a date Saturday night. Just for coffee, in a public place.”Attitude” is nowhere to be found today, so I can’t check with her to see if the curse might have lifted. It doesn’t sound right — Mandy got cursed after I did, so the magic would have faded from my curse before it did from hers. And as we all saw on Monday, the magic in my left hand is still pretty strong. (Hm… that sounded a bit dirty…)
Anyway. Tomorrow, date with a succubus. Wish me luck.
What are your plans for the weekend?