They say you shouldn't mess with the payroll (though "they" don't always use the word "mess"). But what are you supposed to do when the payroll messes with you?

Last night, buried with work as I was, I stayed late at the office. There I was, minding my own business, when the mother of all erections suddenly hit me. It felt REALLY good, to be honest, but I immediately considered this could be a faerie trick (which, to be honest, is the basis for a lot of my sex life). Still, knowing WHY you're getting excited doesn't always do much to get RID of the issue, so I got up and headed toward the restrooms. And as I passed my boss Morgan's office on the way there, I peeked inside to see if she was working late too.

And I saw her in the darkness of her office, furiously massaging her breasts. She had clearly turned off the lights to avoid attracting attention to herself, but there was no mistaking what she was up to. Her breathing was heavy, and her soft moans suggested she was coming ever closer to a climatic conclusion to her business. That is, until she saw me. Then she stopped and stared at me, her cheeks flaming red. Her hands remained fixed on her stupendous boobs.

My own blood, already simmering, started boiling up. I'm sure it's no secret to anyone that I find my boss very hot, but it never occurred to me to act on that. But at that moment, I just couldn't help myself. Ignoring any common sense, I marched toward her, unbuckling my belt and getting ready for some hot business. She breathed "No..." but her fingers resumed playing with her breasts as she got up to meet me. Our lips locked while she fumbled with the buttons of her blouse. I got too excited and decided to rip her shirt off, her lips never leaving mine. Then I backed her up against the wall, hiked her skirt up, and...

Well, I don't really remember the details past this point. It was like I was possessed (which is a distinct possibility) and completely out of control. I recall a lot of lust and my name being called several times. When it was all done, Morgan just lay there on the floor, panting and speechless. It was several long moments before I realized what I'd done, but when I did, I raced off like a rabbit.

I think I may just have lost my job. Either that, or I'm getting one helluva promotion.