It's all Attitude's fault, I'm sure of it. Of course, the little devil is hiding from me right now, but I have no doubt she's been messing with Meghan.

Let me start from the beginning. Yesterday, as mentioned, I went to lunch with Megan, equipped with all the poison I could carry in my mind. I was ready to let her have it, both for her thing with Brooke, and for being unable to face me through it all. But the moment I got to the restaurant (nothing fancy, but we had a booth), I could see on her face she was upset. It didn't matter all that much to me. I took my coldest tone and asked what was up.

She told me abruptly that there was something wrong with her. She asked me if I felt all right, if I'd... experienced anything unusual lately. Sexually, she meant. I said no, didn't understand what she was talking about. Then I realized: she had some kind of STI and had passed it on to me! I opened my mouth to rip her a new one, but she held up her hand, shushed me, and continued on (bossy bia-tch!).

"I've... got hot flashes," she admitted. "VERY hot flashes."

I hesitated, puzzled by her meaning. She kept going.

"It's happened twice so far. At random times. Once at dinner time, when I was home; the other in the middle of the night on Wednesday. You sure you haven't had any symptoms like that?"

I shook my head. "Like what?" I asked.

She looked at me like I was some kind of retard. She pointed at her crotch. "Jaycee! Hello? Hot flashes! Like org-"

She interrupted herself, her expression changing almost instantly. She went from bitch to kitty in 0.46 seconds.

"Oh no!" she breathed.

I was amazed at what I saw. Without warning, she backed up against the cushioned seat, bit into her fist, and spread her knees. She slouched forward a bit and glared at her crotch like it was an enemy. But that expression soon softened, her eyes glazing over. It wasn't long before she started sighing and mewing as I knew she did during sex, and although there was no one touching her, I could tell exactly what was going on. We were in an isolated part of the restaurant (had she chosen that deliberately, just in case?), not too far from the bathroom. Her hips started bucking in response to some invisible plowing, but then, through what must have been a supreme effort, she gathered herself and got up. She stumbled lustily in the direction of the ladies' room, both hands inside her pants, probably trying to probe what was going on down there. She vanished inside the bathrooms, where she spent the next 10 minutes having what sounded like incredible sex.

When she came out, her hair messed up and smelling of sex, she raced past the table without looking at me and exited the restaurant.

Bitch stiffed me on the bill.