After a much-needed vacation, I'm back in the saddle. I have to give a big hug to Mandy for taking care of this place while I was gone. I'm sure it wasn't easy... So thanks Mandy.

And for the doubters who think ill of her, let me go on record and say that things are good between us, now. I haven't talked about our relationship here since she's been "back," but the Sex-Predator Mandy is gone, and this one is the friend I had lost during all these years. With all the chaos around my relationship with Lana, and the damage Morgan has made, I just didn't mention anything here about Mandy and I. But we're good.

And it's nice to have someone to talk to in Real Life when faerie-related stuff happens. Now that I can share this with her, I realize the pressure I was under, just being by myself and having no one to talk to about this.

So you're probably wondering where I've been these last two weeks, and what's been happening with Lana.

Let me start with my vacations: I went for a retreat in a monastery. With real monks. MEN-monks, to be clear. Away from all that girl-drama that has plagued my life of late. It was an amazing experience. I rented a room there and lived like them for a full ten days. I dressed like them, I ate like them, and I completely followed their schedule.

Just so we're clear, I'm NOT religious. I don't believe in one or many gods, I have no faith, and I don't like organized religion very much. But even so, when you're in a place like that, it's a perfect opportunity for quiet introspection. That's what I spent my time doing. Meditating, thinking, cleaning floors, and making cheese and wine (that's how that monastery makes a living). It's pretty back-breaking work, actually, and surprisingly rewarding. It's funny how we overthink things, sometimes. Instead of being in the moment, we look back at what we've done, or project ourselves into the future, and forget to spend time in the "now."

It's something Zuri once mentioned to me, when talking about all these crazy sports she does: when you're in an intense situation, one where your focus needs to be razor sharp because it's potentially life threatening, you tend to be at your best. During those moments, you're not thinking about work, or about a failed relationship. You're in the moment. It's something pure, and something you'll cherish forever.

So perhaps my cheese- and wine-making wasn't exactly life threatening, but it's the spirit of it that counts. I was living from moment to moment. And I was surrounded by very kind, generous people, who gave me space when I wanted space, and companionship when I needed it.

So all this to say I'm back. And if you were hoping I was going to talk about Lana, get it out of your head. We don't talk about Lana here anymore.

--Jaycee