Jennifer’s Love Life

Jennifer came to visit me last night, all by herself. She broke up with Jason and needed to talk. She called me and sounded pretty upset, so I told her she could come over. I didn’t feel like it, having my own love troubles to deal with, but since I’d never told her about my breakup with Mandy, I couldn’t very well bring that up as an excuse.

So she arrived after dinner, a 6-pack of beer in one hand, a huge bag of chips in the other. There was something… drained about her. She looked really sad, and I was a bit surprised by that. I knew she liked Jason, but not THAT much. We’d talked a bit about him during the vacation in Mexico, and it was clear he was just a placeholder boyfriend.

So I invited her inside. We sat on the couch, drank, chatted, ate chips. She confessed that even since she’d gotten her upgrades (pointing at her generous breasts), she hadn’t attracted the right kind of guys. They were all hot hunks, and great lovers, but dumb as doorknobs. That had been the problem with Jason — all looks, no substance. She was wondering if getting big boobs had been the right call after it. She felt GREAT because she liked how they looked, but maybe they were sending the wrong message to the world. Plus, a lot of her old girl friends had changed their attitude since she’d gotten them. Most of them disapproved, telling her she looked just fine the way she was, the way God intended, and she shouldn’t mess with a good thing. That the procedure was medically dangerous, and it’d give her back pains, and she wouldn’t like them so much in 20 years, when they’d be sagging down to her knees.

Me, I was just munching chips and drinking beer in silence, nodding absentmindedly. Jennifer was rambling, getting things off her (ample) chest. I didn’t feel I needed to pay attention tothe details. Sometimes, you don’t need to really LISTEN to people, just act like you do. They just want to talk and don’t care about the interaction. What they want is get it out of their system, dump it on you, get their release, and walk away.

Not unlike cheap sex, I guess.

I noticed Jennifer had stopped talking and was looking at me with questioning eyes.

“Uh, what?”

“I said, are you okay? You’ve been zoning out since I got here. I don’t mean to pry, but is everything all right?”

And sometimes, there’s a true friend who really pays attention to your feelings, and cares enough to ask.

“I… broke up with Mandy. Been a few weeks, actually. I’m kind of getting over her, but hearing you talk about it is giving me the blues.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m really sorry, I should have been there for you I had no idea… Why didn’t you tell me?”

That was a dangerous slope, and I didn’t want to start talking about the details, for fear of slipping up. I cared about Jenn and didn’t want her caught up in the middle of that faerie nightmare that is my life.

“Long story short: she cheated. I called it quits.”

“The bitch!” Jennifer said. Then she caught herself, covering her mouth. “Sorry! That just came out. But we hate her now, right?”

“Yeah, I guess we sort of do.”

There was a silence. Then I broke it.

“Sorry to have broken the mood. Why don’t you start again from the top, and slow down for the parts about your boobs?”

She laughed and slapped me on the shoulder.

“Idiot!”

Well, she got THAT part right.

–Jaycee

Next update: Saturday

10 thoughts on “Jennifer’s Love Life

  1. Since she doesn’t know about the body swap, I hope this won’t be an issue for Brooke. Like she runs into Brooke and mistakingly takes out what Mandy did on her.

    1. Ohhh, dear…! I hadn’t even thought of that. This could get messy.

      Poor Jennifer, though. Maybe she should’ve gotten a more modest upgrade, if she was dead-set on having one at all?

    2. Yeah, I’ve been a little bit concerned about that myself, but Jenn and Mandy really didn’t move in the same circles. It’s very unlikely they’ll run into each other, and if it ever happens, I guess Brooke will just have to figure out how to react. She (Brooke) knows what happened, so she might play along with it.

      I guess. Hey, I’m just taking it one day at a time, and I won’t try to fix a problem I don’t (yet) have.

      –Jaycee

      1. I’d suggest amending that policy, if only a little.

        In all the stories you’ve told us about your misadventures, you’ve gone with the flow and just reacted to events. Early attempts to drive off the faeries led to punishment, so you gave it up and became their plaything, pretty much. :-\ Accepting the inevitable is fine, but just riding out every curse that comes your way has brought you a lot of hardship.

        You need to start planning ahead and devise a few basic contingency strategies. Try devising a counter-strategy that doesn’t leave you open to counterattack; those little stinkgnats are not omniscient; they can be dealt with!

        1. A flyswatter and a *really* toxic insect spray

      2. Still, you should probably give Brooke a heads up and tell her that Jennifer knows about the break up with Mandy, so Brooke at least can prepare for it just in case.

  2. “That the procedure was medically dangerous, and it’d give her back pains, and she wouldn’t like them so much in 20 years, when they’d be sagging down to her knees.”

    Gotta love teh nonsense. XD With the right doctor, it’s no less dangerous than a rough dental visit. Models with implants the size of small dirigibles such as Beshine and Keisha Evans as well as more natural beauties like Rachel Aldana can attest that big boobs =/= back pain, at least not in all cases. The girl’s body structure and, more importantly, musculature are very important. A strong back and core will counteract the weight. My wife actually found the pain in her lower back was reduced significantly after her implants.

    Finalmente, even if they’re a little more likely to sag than usual, they do tend to stay rounder, instead of pancaking like natural hangers do, so in a bra they look quite nice anyway. Submuscular placement can keep them looking more perky (but the breast tissue can sag OVER the implant which looks odd. I’d rather the subglandular look, they may sag but they look like any other big breast would if it were sagging.

    Meh, lol. *honey, just a second. Someone is wrong on the internet!* I hate hearing shapely ladies say they’re getting reductions because their boobs make their backs hurt. It’s much more likely that it’s bad posture or lack of, you know, exercise.

    1. Just for the record, I’m totally with you on all counts. Busty ladies are great, and implants nowadays are extremely safe. And did I mention they’re cool to look at?

      But even more importantly, if a girl’s ego and relationships are affected by the fact that she’s got small breasts, I say, “Get ’em implants, if you want ’em. Good on you!” Who are we (especially guys!) to judge what makes someone else feels good about themselves. We (males) have it easy: unless we’re HUGE, no one can easily tell the size of our genitals. For women, it’s right there for the world to see. If anyone could tell our penis size at a glance, I’m willing to bet good money there’d be a LOT of penile implants out there. 🙂

      –Jaycee

    2. You clearly don’t know how boobs work, but then you’re a guy.

      Having large breast does hurt women’s back and it’s perfectly understandable that they’d want to get a reduction to remove the pain and some get breast reduction because they don’t want the want unwanted attention from Mysoginistic men.

      There are also several medical reasons why a woman would have breast reduction.

      Besides, what a woman does with her body is their business and you have no right to police their bodies and say what they can or can’t do.

      And unless you have breast yourself, what you hate about it is irrelevant.

      1. Ouch. That’s a little harsh, but I can see how Ladon’s comments might have come across the wrong way.

        At the risk of sounding a little nitpicky, I’m not sure I agree with your point about the unwanted attention of misogynistic men. I think you could replace the words “misogynistic men” by jerks/arseholes, and still be very accurate. Misogynists are by definition men who hate women. They’re a relatively small portion of the male population, compared to the percentage of jerks and shallow men. The latter probably have a more significant impact on women who can’t take it anymore and get breast reduction to get away from them.

        Like I said, I’m nitpicking. 😛

        –Jaycee

Leave a Reply to Lurker Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Bloomin’ Newsletter

Want comics ahead of schedule?
Get the Newsletter