All right, let the smart aleck who hacked my phone stand up and claim the prank. For some reason, my iPhone's ringtone has been permanently set to the soundtrack of some LOUD porn actress having frantic sex with what sounds like a pair of grunting gorillas. Try as I might, I can neither restore the ringtone to what it was, nor can I turn the volume down!

And adding insult to injury, the lock screen is rotating between different images from my private collection of girl images. Not cool, guys, not cool! Sure, you may think that because I'm living a somewhat solitary lifestyle these days, it's not a problem, but I DO go to work. Now I have to leave my phone at home because it caused a ruckus at the office last time Mandy called me.

So please, someone fix this!