Looks like Brooke isn't as clueless as I thought she was.

You may remember that Mandy and I had somehow convinced her she was really a woman who'd gotten hypnotized into thinking she used to be a man. Well, last week, she finally confronted me with what she knew to be the truth.

"Jaycee, man," she started. "Y'know that time, when you gave me that story about being hypnotized and all that?"

"Yeah," I continued, "I remember. Sorry we could never find the hypnotist to get that stuff out of your head..."

She laughed. "Right. Well about that, I think I've been playing dumb around you two long enough. I know the real story. I really used to be a man, and now I'm not one anymore."

It was my turn to laugh, though I knew it wasn't very convincing. "Right. Next, you're going to tell me you're a transexual?"

"No, man, nothing like that. I'm a full woman, with the right plumbing and all. Believe me, Roseanne has totally checked every bit of me, and I'm the real deal."

I held up my hand. "Dude, I don't know if I want to hear those kind of details!" (And actually, I sorta did...) "So what is it, then?"

"Magic!" She dropped it on me like it was a bomb or something.

I paused. "You know how crazy that sounds?"

"Not much crazier than me using a certain orgasmic keyword around Mandy, back when she was a stripper, and now having that same keyword send me off! Not much crazier than me getting all melty and gooey any time a guy flirts with me -- no matter how repulsive he is! And certainly not much crazier than me knowing way more about pleasing a woman as a guy than pleasing a man as a woman. Hypnotists don't put that kind of shit in your head. That doesn't make any sense."

I gave Brooke a long look. After all this time, I have to admit the memory of her as a guy was pretty faint, and I found myself appreciating her curves a bit more than I knew I should.

"So, magic, then?" I asked, hoping to avoid giving her an explanation.

"Magic," she repeated. "And don't pretend you don't know what's going on. It's pretty clear to me that you do."

"Well, what do you THINK is going on?"

Brooke sighed. It was uncanny how her body language was much more feminine now than six months ago. "Jaycee, I think you've got some magic powers and you've transformed me into... this."

I just sat there, not sure what to say next.

"And hey, don't get me wrong, I don't mind it, not one bit. Dude, once you get past not having a wang, or that one week of the month, being a chick totally ROCKS! And being a chick who's into chicks -- that's Howard Stern's wet dream!"

"So, you're not upset?"

"No way!" She shook her head with an emphasis that made her chest perform an interesting sideways jiggle (yeah, braless again!). "So, you a witch or something?"

"Witches are women, Brooke. The men, they're called warlocks."

"Got it. So, Warlord Jaycee..."

"Warlock, not Warlord," I corrected.

"War-LOCK Jaycee! So, what else can you do?"

Well, that went on for a bit, and to make a long story short, it looks like Brooke now thinks I have magical powers, but that those powers only work when I use them for my own benefits. (I threw that bit as a last-second save in to avoid having to grant her wishes and stuff.) So while this makes me come off as petty and vengeful, it also ensures Brooke keeps her (sexy) mouth shut, lest I turn her into a toad or something. (I may have hinted at that, yes...)

So bow to me, mortals! There's a new power in town, and its name is Warlock Jaycee!

--Jaycee