The Brooke Clause

Well, at least SOMEONE around me is in the Holidays spirit. Last night, Mandy dropped by my place, accompanied by Brooke, carrying candy canes and collecting charity money to give to the homeless. And, clever as always, Mandy had devised a great way to increase the donations: she dressed Brooke up in a sexy Miss Clause outfit. I think she deliberately chose one that was a bit too small for Brooke, who was (ahem) bursting out of it in all the right places. And of course, Brooke (in his confused state of double sexual identity) was hilarious to watch. Half the time, he looked naturally sexy; the other half, he was squirming with embarassment (or at least, I THINK it was embarassment) and trying to adjust his boobs so they’d stay in the costume.

I have to admit, Mandy is a great friend. She knows what I’m going through and the attempt at cheering me up by putting Brooke in a revealing Clause costume was a welcome break from my romantic woes. It was funny enough watching Brooke, in fact, that I let Mandy convince me to join them for a bit, as we walked in shopping malls and subway stations, convincing people to make donations.

Which led to me learning something about Brooke’s curse that I did not know until then: that any man flirting with her causes tremendous arousal. This became apparent when one guy started getting all cocky and funny around her, and responded by squirming and blushing. And not just a LITTLE blush, here — we’re talking a blush that went down her neck and to her boobs. And once the guy was gone, Mandy whispered the explanation to me. She said it was like that for her, too, back when she was Sexy Mandy.

So of course, caught in the moment, I couldn’t help it. I leaned toward Brooke, putting one hand over his shoulder and against the wall behind him, and gave him my best impression of Joey (from Friends): “Hey, how YOU doin’?”

His reaction, as well as the verbal abuse (of me) that followed had Mandy and I burst out laughing.

I can use some laughter, these days.

I wonder what Lana is doing right now…

–Jaycee