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If Wood Could Talk

5 thoughts on “If Wood Could Talk

  1. Wait, who had it coming? The tree? What did the tree do to the gnat?

    1. Good catch. This is a story thread that died a gory and premature death. The tree was going to be a character, but I decided to move in another direction.

      –Jaycee

  2. Bit definitely, without nipples, tits are pointless.

    1. But still a nice topic for a well-rounded discussion…

  3. even weirder if the hole in the tree was just slightly lower, and his arms were embracing the tree, his penis so erect that it practically busts right through his chastity belt, thrusting and ramming monotonously and quite repeatedly into the hole, over and over, quite overtaken with the erotic appearance of the fairy, and the effect happened as he was running towards the great fairy, and she caught sight of those engorged balls, completely excited dick, riotously rigid roots, blissfully brimming base, sharply shocking shaft, heavily heaving head, and tirelessly ticklish tip, and his mouth practically wide open like a fool, his tongue lapping out of the side of his mouth, …. like in one of those tattoos of the guy on the motorcycle [you know the one, all cartoonish-looking and everything, … and he’s saying to her something along the lines of, “Hey, foxy fairy, …. you’re a creature of the forest, aren’t you, there?!” “Why, yes I am!” “Well, when was the last time that you ever got some real hard wood?!” “Probably just a few days ago, for your satisfaction.” “Well, get ready for some more hard wood coming straight for you!!!” “Aw, you’ll never guess, but I was just now thinking the exact same thing!” “Oh, no way, really?!” “Yeah, but specifically for you.”

    Before he can react, she simply side-steps right out of the way of his rush and his rather rapidly raging reels and rod, stepping out of the way just in time for his oncoming encounter to change from a pair of enormous breasts, a body that goes on forever even at that understandably smaller [except for that moment, when she had made herself the same size as the knight for this time] size, a head that could rival the look of Angelina Jolie [or Queen Victoria [to put this in a more time-matching reference, [medieval times, probably, yes?], and legs that could rival the power, beauty, might, and force of Stacy Kiebler [or Maid Marian] to a mighty tree with bumps, branches, and a hole at just the right heights for him to see, [when he closed his eyes, …. as he did while running for that moment, … thinking that he would no doubt run into the mystical hole of a fairy], a beautiful woman [if he were somewhat “drunk” off of the simply intoxicating look, texture, smell, and sound of the fairy, which he was at the moment.
    Then, the “I feel sorry for the tree” part. …

    Or the tree has the hole above, as in the panel right there, but the force of his penis charging the tree causes another hole to be made in the tree.

    Or his plowing right into the tree causes some squirrels to shake and see just what’s the big idea here, … and when they see that a half-way nude man has somehow had the nerve to ram into their habitat, they get a very sneaky, mischievous, wicked, naughty suggestion in their cute little minds. With a few squirrels on one side and some chipmunks on the other side, the animals pick up his penis after he slams right into the tree and nearly knocks himself out [but still awake & conscious enough to see, feel, and hear things, and process what is happening], and they drag each of his balls on the tree, eventually pushing, pulling, pressing, stomping, stamping, smashing, and forcing each of them right into a hole [thankfully and conveniently, there are two holes right next to each other, which are each just big enough to force his balls into but not large enough for him to pull them out on his own] [or pulling his scrotum into a large hole and then pulling each of his balls right into a slightly smaller hole] and drag, push, and force his penis into another hole which is just large enough for them to ram, jam, slam, force, shove, and push his penis fittingly, but [eventually] unluckily for him, not quite relaxingly large enough for him to pull that out.

    Maybe they follow this up by painting his nuts like acorns and his scrotum like a sack of peanuts and somehow successfully fooling the more gullible squirrels and chipmunks into thinking his nuts are nuts, and that his scrotum is a large sack of peanuts. and painting his penis like a male squirrel. male chipmunk, or some other animal, or like any forest related thing which might have an appearance like or might be another word for a penis [snake, worm, etc.] and fooling the more gullible fairies, squirrels, chipmunks, and other muses of the forest into somehow thinking that his penis is whatever they painted that to look like, and fooling the knight into thinking that whatever happens to be working on his penis & balls is really a beautiful woman or maybe even that fairy, and he starts pumping, vibrating, thrusting, pushing, rushing, mashing, and otherwise having very sexy time with his penis, balls, and scrotum into, around, over, under, between, and across the mouths, tongues, crotches, asses, hands, legs, feet, arms, backs, and legs of whatever the naive recipients of his symbols of overwhelming [and unsuspecting] manhood happen to be.
    Maybe they continue after that, just in case the knight has been rammed into the tree so many times from his punishment that perhaps he has completely knocked himself out, fully unconscious, but still quite alive. Maybe they see a few woodpeckers and some fruit-loving drunk girls, … and the animals decide to get themselves a new “tree” by painting his now very fittingly matching-scale [maybe a one-third scale] penis quite exactly like an enormous oak-tree. Then, they decide to get themselves a couple of the largest pineapples and the most enormous casaba melon they have ever seen within their lives.

    Luckily for them, his testicles were now rather fittingly matching-scale …
    [50 times the size of an ordinary pineapple] and his scrotum was also quite fittingly rather matching-scale, also … [50 times the size of the
    largest watermelon they’d ever seen before]. Then, the squirrels did the cute little two-finger whistle and softly yelled “Come and get it, peckers. Nice, tasty, nutritious, thick, and juicy wood!! Come and get it, ladies. Some of the biggest, tastiest, widest, tallest, thickest, strongest, juiciest, and potent pineapples and melon in the world!” Hijinks would ensue leading to a very strange awakening for him!!!

    [Sorry for the long post. I should have gone to sleep hours ago. Oh, well.]

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