I woke up on Tuesday with that slight feverish feeling that comes from having a good sunburn. Mandy was still sleeping, so I quietly got out of bed and went to the bathroom to freshen myself up. I splashed some cold water on my face and confirmed that I was an idiot for not wearing any sunscreen the day before. Then I went to the bathroom to take care of business.
You’ll imagine my surprise, I’m sure when I realized that my “business” down there was somewhat oversized. Not talking about morning wood, here, but about having gotten abnormally big.
I let out some kind of loud curse to express my surprise, and raced back to the room to wake Mandy up. She was a big confused at first, but when I dropped my boxers, she looked at my crotch, then back up at me.
“You’re not being very romantic, here, are you?” she asked.
“No, that’s not it! I got BIG!”
“I can see that.”
“As in, REAL big!”
“I can SEE that. Good for you.”
“Must be faerie magic,” I said.
“Must be,” she acquiesced.
I paused. Clearly, she wasn’t going to get… ahem… excited about this. Not excited as in sexually, but as in alarmed. I turned to leave, then faced again.
“But I’m BIG.”
“Yes, sweetie.”
Nope, not gonna get a rise out of her. That’s my Mandy all right.
So I got dressed and ready for the day. Which was going to be spent visiting the ruins at Coba. (We chose Coba because you can still climb the pyramid there, whereas the ruins of Chichen Itza are now off-limits to visitors. You can watch, but can’t touch.) I made sure to bring sunscreen and a hat to avoid making things worse. I was somewhat grateful we weren’t going scuba diving since, well… my new size might get noticeable in swimming trunks or in a wet suit.
Except that I had forgotten about the PRE-Coba visit, which entailed doing some fun things, like zip-lining, rappelling down a cliff, and visiting a cenote. Normally, none of this would have been embarrassing, but if you’ve ever worn a climbing harness (necessary for rappelling), you know how it REALLY straps itself all around your crotch and really brings your… package to the fore.
And I had… quite the package.
Perhaps I should also mention our guide: Lara Croft. I’m NOT kidding! That’s how she introduced herself to us tourists, as well as to the various Mexican security guards we crossed at the gate of each hotel we visited. (Her real name was Lara Martinez, but we all thought it was hilarious that she called herself like that, and no one challenged her.)
Anyway, while strapping me up, Lara sized me up and laughed. “You’re a little TOO happy to see me.” Then she looked at Mandy’s boobs and told them: “Good thing YOU’re more my type.”
I blushed like an idiot. Mostly because I was embarrassed, but also because Lara had drawn my attention to Mandy’s breasts, and those made the giant snake between my thighs twitch a little. DOWN BOY!
So I was quick to make my descent and get away from this situation.
I also spent most of the day trying to walk in the front of everyone, so no one would notice anything.
Overall, we all had a good time, and if anyone noticed anything, they didn’t make any comments.
On the following day, though, I wasn’t the only one having some trouble, and things got really heated up…
–Jaycee
